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Jeepers Creepers

OK many many reasons why not to see this movie that I figured I would give the benefit of the doubt...

1. There is a monster in this movie. It is a monster that rises every twenty-three years for twenty-three days to kill people and eat their various body parts so that he can use them for himself. What is the significance of 23 or why does it come every 23 years? I would have accepted anything, like the earth's orbit, or a changing in the tides. Hell even a creature with some kind of Hibernation time. But nope, no reason given.

2. How would eating someone’s, say, ears allow you to then use those ears for hearing? They’d be all munched up in your stomach. If the monster ripped off people ears and stapled them to his own head, that would make sense (sort of).

4. The monster tries to pass himself off as a human by wearing a human’s skin and driving a beat-up truck. This truck has a license plate that says “BEATINGU.” Now is this "Beating you" or "Be Eating You" I assume the latter, but wouldn't you think that it should be a little better spaced, like
B EATNG U? What about having it say BEAT INGU. I am sure Ingu is a nice guy and all, but still.

5. Who taught the monster how to drive? How did he get the truck? How does he buy gas? If this were a person who killed people, it would make sense. But I am not using the word “monster” figuratively, like when we say, “Jason is a monster” or “You’re charging me $400 just to replace a rotor, you monsters?!” It is an actual non-human person-eating monster, an animal or alien of some kind. It does not have a bank account, because it does not have a name or a face.

6. Why does a inhuman killing machine need a personalized license plate? Does the monster have a sense of kitsch? Does he have pink flamingoes on his front lawn, too?

7. More to the point, how did he GET the personalized license plate? Are we to understand he walked into the DMV in his crusty old human flesh-suit and said, “Me need personal plate, say ‘Be Eating You.’ What? Is seventy-five dollar? Is highway robbery!”? Freaking octopus Riceburner.

8. Not to mention the 18 forms of ID you have to show just in order to get anything done at the DMV. Am I supposed to assume he just walked into the DMV with his College ID and a past month's Phone Bill and asked for plates or the license?

Just some observations...


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