OK many many reasons why not to see this
movie that I figured I would give the benefit of the doubt...
1. There is a monster in this movie. It is a monster
that rises every twenty-three years for twenty-three days to kill
people and eat their various body parts so that he can use them
for himself. What is the significance of 23 or why does it come
every 23 years? I would have accepted anything, like the earth's
orbit, or a changing in the tides. Hell even a creature with some
kind of Hibernation time. But nope, no reason given.
2. How would eating someones, say, ears allow
you to then use those ears for hearing? Theyd be all munched
up in your stomach. If the monster ripped off people ears and stapled
them to his own head, that would make sense (sort of).
4. The monster tries to pass himself off as a human
by wearing a humans skin and driving a beat-up truck. This
truck has a license plate that says BEATINGU. Now is
this "Beating you" or "Be Eating You" I assume
the latter, but wouldn't you think that it should be a little better
B EATNG U? What about having it say BEAT INGU. I am sure Ingu is
a nice guy and all, but still.
5. Who taught the monster how to drive? How did he
get the truck? How does he buy gas? If this were a person who killed
people, it would make sense. But I am not using the word monster
figuratively, like when we say, Jason is a monster or
Youre charging me $400 just to replace a rotor, you
monsters?! It is an actual non-human person-eating monster,
an animal or alien of some kind. It does not have a bank account,
because it does not have a name or a face.
6. Why does a inhuman killing machine need a personalized
license plate? Does the monster have a sense of kitsch? Does he
have pink flamingoes on his front lawn, too?
7. More to the point, how did he GET the personalized
license plate? Are we to understand he walked into the DMV in his
crusty old human flesh-suit and said, Me need personal plate,
say Be Eating You. What? Is seventy-five dollar? Is
highway robbery!? Freaking octopus Riceburner.
8. Not to mention the 18 forms of ID you have to show
just in order to get anything done at the DMV. Am I supposed to
assume he just walked into the DMV with his College ID and a past
month's Phone Bill and asked for plates or the license?
Just some observations...