Seth's List for 10/18/02
Ever wonder why the chicken crossed the road?
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking
American.
BILL CLINTON: That depends on what your definition
of "did" is.
GEORGE BUSH JR: I don't know, but I'll tell you this:
That chicken may run, but it can't hide. God bless America.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross
it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed,
I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives
called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken
has gone before.
FOX MULDER: Did you actually see it cross the road?
Or did you suddenly notice that it had appeared on the other side?
You think you saw it cross the road, but that's an illusion. How
many more chickens have to appear before you believe it?
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that
the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken Millenium
Edition, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your check book, and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or
did the road move beneath the chicken?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: What color was the chicken? If you
do your research, you will find that it was a white chicken. Roads
are always black. The road, you will see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample
him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and
He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."
And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't
it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your
face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes,
my friends, that chicken was gay. And, if you eat that chicken,
you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we
sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and
simple as that.
COLONEL SANDERS: You mean I missed one?!
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