Today's Joke:
Confucius say.....

Man who have hand in pockets, not crazy, just feeling nuts
Passionate kiss, like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in dog house soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
"Soldier who run in front of car, get tired"
"Soldier who run behind car, get exhausted"
"Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly."
"Soldier who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok"
"Soldier who scratches ass should not bite fingernails."
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat-house."
"Soldier who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night."
"Soldier who sleep in cat-house by day, sleep in doghouse by night."
"Soldier who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out."
"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."
"Soldier who drive like hell, bound to get there!"
"Soldier who sit on tack get point?"
"Soldier who lives in glass house should change in basement"
"He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."
"Baseball is wrong, Soldier with four balls cannot walk."
Sailor who get discharged from navy, leave buddies
behind.
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."
"Man who screw on ground have piece on earth."
Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.
Man who eats photograph of his sire is soon spitting image of his
father.
"Man who buy drowned cat must pay for stinking wet pussy."
Man who sink into woman's arms will soon find arms in woman's sink.
America good place to put Chinese restaurant.
Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth.
Woman who go to man's apartment for snack may get tit bit.
Woman who spends much time on bedspring, may have offspring.
Passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.
Man who sucks nipples make clean breast of things.
Virginity is like balloon, one prick and it is all gone.
Girls should not marry basketball players,they dribble before they
shoot.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
House without toilet is uncanny.
"Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!"
"Today, house without toilet is uncanny."
"Man who lose key to girl friends apartment, no get nukey."
"Boy who go to bed with sexual problem wake up with solution in hand."
Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.
Boy and girl go camping together sure to have one intent.
Butcher who back into meat-grinder get a little behind in his orders.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
"Woman who springs on innerspring this spring gets offspring next
spring."
"Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter."
"He who light the fuse of love, get big bang."
"Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly."
"Man with one chopstick go hungry."
"Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails."
"He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."
"If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient."
Secretary not permanent until screwed on desk.
Man who let woman on top is fucking up.
Man who stand on toilet get high on pot.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Woman who spend much time on bedspring may get offspring.
Sex on beach is like American beer - fucking near water.
Man like baby - want to suck tit all day.
Naked man fears no pick pocket.
Man who masturbate only screwing himself.
Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.
He who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in the desert.
The hand that turneth the knob opens the door.
Schoolboy OK to masturbate as long as it's not against Principal.
Schoolboy who mess around with school girl during wrong period get
caught
red-handed.
He who eats too many jelly beans, farts in living colour!!
Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.
Hockey player on ice have big stick.
Man trapped in sewer eat shit and die.
Man who fuck ugly dog get howled at.
Girls should not marry basketball players because they always dribble
before
they shoot.
It take square ass to shit brick.
Woman who dance while wearing a jock strap have make believe ballroom.
He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
A girls best asset is her lie ability.
Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into his own hands.
He who chases cars will soon get exhausted.
Wash your face in morning neck at night.
Man who kiss girl's behind get crack in face.
Man who gets kicked in testicles left holding the bag.
Woman who fly air plane up-side down, have big crack up!
Man who take woman on camping trip have one intent.
He who refuses to listen is lying.
When lady says no, she mean maybe. When lady say maybe, she mean yes.
When lady say yes, she no lady
Wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
He who sniffs coke drowns.
Man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead.
Man who piss into wind get wet.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Man who pull out too soon get hit in rear end.
Man who eat pussy do lip service.
Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily a dentist.
Woman who bake beans and pees in same pot very unsanitary.
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons
Never eat yellow snow.
Boy who plays with himself pulls boner.
Woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills.
Girl who marry detective must kiss dick.
Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left
Virginity is like a balloon, one prick all gone.
Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man who fart in Church sit in own pew.
Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money.
Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole woman have
more!
Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end
up with splitting headache.
Rape impossible. Woman run faster with skirt up than man run with pants
down.
Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy.
He who lives in glass house dresses in basement.
Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virgin with thimble on finger never feel prick.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who date flat-chested girl have good reason to feel low-down.
Man who lifts stones off woman get rocks off.
Man who go to bed with diarrhea wake up in deep shit.
Boy who diddle little girl do diddly squat.
Man who pulls on woman's bra-strap may get bust in mouth.
Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock
When in doubt, whip it out.
Man who lay maiden in pantry get ass in jam.
Girl who go to bachelor pad for snack get tit-bit
A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed.
All men eat, but Fu Manchu.

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