Seth's List for 06/06/02
Today's Joke:
Olya, knowing I am a fan of frivolous lawsuits, sent me this..
1) Although Penthouse magazine has been slapped with another lawsuit,
this time the mag has a better chance of having this particular
case thrown out of court.
Everyone knows that the seedy magazine printed pictures of a topless
woman they assumed was Anna Kournikova. But in fact, it was a woman
named Judith Soltesz-Benetton and the look-alike got a great settlement
out of court. But alas, now a lawyer is suing the magazine.
That's right; Miami lawyer Reed Stomberg has apparently filed a
class-action suit on behalf of all men (including himself) who purchased
the magazine with hopes of catching a glimpse of Anna's sweet little
nipples.
"The sole reason I paid the $8.99 was for the alleged Anna
pictorial," Stomberg confessed to the Miami Herald. He also
claimed that he bought the mag "for a friend." Yeah, this
suit's going to go far. (Taken from askmen.com)
2) Female prisoner left a note after killing herself
addressed to her lawyer to sue prison for overlooking her suicide.
3) About two years ago, the Indian man tried to sue
Taco Bell for giving him beef burrito instead of bean. (they did
not hear him clearly through the drive-through speaker.)
4) January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas
was awarded $780,000 by a jury after breaking her ankle tripping
over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners
of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering
the misbehaving little bastard was Ms. Robertson's son.
5) June 1998: Nineteen year old Carl Truman of Los
Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over
his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice
there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to
steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
6) October 1998: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania
was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage.
He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic
door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because
the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it
shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found himself locked
in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he
found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish.
The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.
7) October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas
was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the
buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a
chain in it's owner's fenced-in yard. The award was less than sought
because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked
at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with
a pellet gun.
8) May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered
to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she
slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on
the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.
9) December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully
sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell
from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front
teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through
the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge.
She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
10) Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City.
In November 2000 Mr Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago
motorhome. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he
set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat
to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly
the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr Grazinski
sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he couldn't
actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnie. (Winnebago
actually changed their handbooks on the back of this court case,
just in case there are any other complete morons buy their vehicles.)
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