Today's Joke:
Minutes from Axis of Evil Meeting

At an undisclosed location in the Middle East, the meeting of the Axis of Evil is called to order.....

COL. GHADAFFI: This meeting of the Axis of Evil will come to order. Are all members present?

Mr. Hussien?

SADDAM HUSSIEN: Here.

Mr. Khameini?

AYATOLLAH ALI KHAMENI: Here.

MULAH OMAR: Here.

Mr. Castro?

FIDEL CASTRO: Here.

Mr. Condit?

GARY CONDIT: Present.

Mr. Bin-Laden?

MULAH OMAR: I am here for him. Osama can't make it. He is hiding.

SADDAM HUSSIEN: That's because he is dead!

MULAH OMAR: That is not true, Saddam. He is just conducting dangerous travel.

SADDAM HUSSIEN: This is bullsh*t. Everybody knows he's dead. Why not just admit this. Why all this mystery and suspense. Who are you trying to make him into, Jim Morrison or something? We haven't seen a video in weeks!!!

MULAH OMAR: It will be just be a short delay.

SADDAM HUSSIEN: Enough time for you to find an actor! When I was bombed, I didn't just sit there - I moved from place to place. That's why I'm still here.

COL. GHADAFFI: Please, let's move on. Mr. Condit has an intelligence report.

GARY CONDIT: We have met under the name 'Axis of Evil' for many years now. But as you know, our identify has been revealed to the world by a inflammatory speech of the United States, in his recent State of the Union address. This, and the unfair publicity accorded by my…um, intern problem, could lead to an unhelpful spotlight on our organization and will stop us from conducting our Evil activities all around the world.

COL. GHADAFFI: What Gary is saying is, we need a name change!

GARY CONDIT: Only that will allow us to continue our dark activities!

COL. GHADAFFI: How about the Evil Alliance?

GARY CONDIT: I like it.

KHAMENI: No, its too secular. It must cloak our evil intentions in a religious foundation. Like the Sacred Altar of Evil!

CASTRO: Those names wouldn't scare a rabbit! You new guys don't know what you are doing. The Evil Alliance? The Sacred Altar? I've held up the banner of Evil for years before you guys got here. All your ideas are stupid! None of them will scare anyone.

SADDAM HUSSIEN: Fidel is right! It has to be scary. How about Bloodlust?

CASTRO: No, that's too obvious.

SADDAM HUSSIEN: Well, then what is your brilliant idea? All you do is complain, complain about everybody's ideas. Why don't you contribute?

CASTRO: Quiet.. I've been in this game a lot longer than you. I was fighting the Great Satan when you were just a colonel!.

COL. GHADAFFI: What?

CASTRO: No offense., Ghaddy … What I mean is, younger members should listen to those with experience.

SADDAM HUSSIEN: Alah Almighty, Fidel! Do I have to hear more war stories ….its all old stuff. Yes, we all know that you stood up to Kennedy. What have you done lately to fight the Great Satan, besides steal some of their tourists!

COL GHADAFFI: We must not fight amongst ourselves. Please, aim your hatred at the Great Satan. Fidel, what is your proposal?

CASTRO: You need something that they can't figure out--like 'the E-840'

KHAMENI: E-840?

GARY CONDIT: Fidel, what the hell does that mean?

CASTRO: On an American phone, it spells E-VIL?

MULLAH OMAR: Hmmmmm….I think I, I mean, Mr. Bin Laden will like this evil idea.

KHAMENI: Brilliant. Yet simple.

SADDAM HUSSIEN: I like it. It has gusto!

GARY CONDIT: The young kids will go for it. You know, the ones that like skateboards and rap music. We can gain millions of followers to support our Evil agenda.

COL. GHADAFFI: So are we agreed on this new name?

KHAMENI: I still think its too secular…Can we add FOR ALLAH to the end of it.

SADDAM HUSSIEN: [under breath] Allah Almighty

GARY CONDIT: [under breath] Jesus Christ!

FIDEL CASTRO: You know, tone done the religious stuff a bit. That works in Iran, but in most places, it gets people too excited.

KHAMENI: [under breath] Atheist Scum..

COL. GHADAFFI: Enough. We are agreed on this new name. And with this new name, we will conquer the free world! We will now conclude this meeting. I will need to get your orders for the luncheon. It is either Chicken or Fish. All for one, and one for Evil!!

ALL: All for one and all for Evil !!

Back to Today's List