Today's Joke:
LOBSTER VASECTOMY -- 2000 Darwin Award Nominee (Unconfirmed)

(2000, England) This tale proves that crime does pay, if you're
fishing for elective surgery to go along with your stolen goods.
A 24-year-old supermarket shoplifter stuffed five lobsters in his
pants and sprinted for the door, but he never had a chance. The
violated crustaceans brought the thief to his knees in front of
startled cashiers when they fastened their powerful claws around
his delicate parts.

Doctors were able to remove the animals with pliers. They say the
thief will fully recover -- except for one small detail. "It was
a do-it-yourself vasectomy." This man's daring supermarket
exploits make him one of the few Darwin Award winners to live to
tell the tale. The supermarket manager declined to press charges,
saying the culprit has already "gone through enough pain (to)
learn his lesson."

Quote of the Day:
"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self."

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